From the Thanksgiving table to Hanukkah and Christmas gatherings, the holidays offer some of the best gospel opportunities of the year. In a few short weeks we gather with people we may see only once a year: the cousin across the country, the in-laws, the old friend home for the break, the neighbor who finally stops by. This season often brings deeper things to the surface: gratitude, memories, even grief. For many people, it stirs up questions of meaning, family, and hope. These are natural doorways into deeper conversation, and the holiday conversation starters below can help you walk through them.

Pray First

The holidays are busy: shopping, cooking, travel, and full calendars. In all the rush, it’s easy to forget the most important preparation of all. Before the first gathering, ask God for divine opportunities to lovingly testify of His work in your life. Pray by name for the people you expect to see. Opportunities for gospel-centered conversations come in many settings: special holiday events, work parties, neighborhood drop-ins, and extended family gatherings.

Every Table Is Different

For many of us, the holidays mean sitting down with people who don’t yet know Jesus. We can relate to them on a human level. We love them, laugh with them, and share their lives. But as followers of Jesus, we’re always watching for an opening to point to Him.

Sometimes that means having yet another conversation with someone who has been cold to the gospel before. Don’t give up. Try a new angle, and bathe it in prayer. You never know when the Holy Spirit has been at work since the last time you talked.

Sometimes we’re meeting people for the first time: a new boyfriend or girlfriend, a new in-law, someone new at the table. A warm welcome and genuine interest in their story can lead naturally to spiritual matters sooner than you’d expect.

And sometimes we’re simply eager to point to Jesus and need some fresh ideas.

Conversation, Not Conversion

Remember first and foremost: we engage through conversation, but conversion is the work of God. It’s easy to feel that everything depends on saying the right thing. It doesn’t. You can’t turn off someone whom the Holy Spirit is turning on!

What you can do is lovingly look for openings and ask questions that lead to deeper spiritual matters. Your genuine interest in your family’s or friends’ stories and opinions helps them open up. The questions below work in a private conversation or as a group exercise around the table, with believers or unbelievers, with strangers or with family. Start light, listen well, and go deeper as the Lord leads.

Ready for the questions? Jump to: Thanksgiving | Hanukkah | Christmas

Around the Thanksgiving Table

For many families, Thanksgiving has become a meal squeezed between a movie and the early Black Friday deals. The day has even picked up a new nickname, ‘Gray Thursday,’ as Black Friday sales creep into the holiday itself. But for a few hours around the table, almost everyone still stops to give thanks. That raises a natural question: thanks to whom?

Setting the scene

1. Thanksgiving used to be a whole day set apart. Now it’s often a quick meal between a movie and a sale. What do you think we lose when we rush past it?

Thanks to whom?

2. When you feel thankful, who or what do you think you’re thanking?
3. Most of us say “I’m thankful for…” at Thanksgiving. If you had to finish the sentence “I’m thankful to…,” who would you put in the blank?
4. If some of what we have is a gift, who do you think the Giver is?
5. Do you think it’s possible to be truly thankful without someone to thank?
6. Have you ever thanked God for something? What was it?

Thankful in hard times

7. After a first winter that took the lives of about half their group, Pilgrim Edward Winslow still wrote, “By the goodness of God we are… far from want.” Why do you think they could still thank God after a year like that?
8. The Bible says, “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever” (Psalm 107:1, NLT). Do you believe God is good, even in a hard year?

Longing

9. Why do you think we have such a strong sense that things should be better?
10. We’ll all eat too much today. What do you think people are really hungry for?
11. Do you think there’s a home we’re all longing for that we haven’t found yet?

God at work

12. Do you think God is involved in what happens in the world, or does He leave us to figure it out?
13. Where do you think God has been at work in your life this year, even if you didn’t notice at the time?

Order in nature

14. When you see the order in nature, from the seasons to the stars to the human body, do you think it points to something, or is it just chance?
15. Every harvest depends on the seasons coming right on time. Why do you think the world works so reliably?

Around the Menorah

Did Jesus celebrate Hanukkah? He was in Jerusalem and the Temple at the time. John 10:22-23 says, “Then came the Festival of Dedication [Hanukkah] at Jerusalem. It was winter, and Jesus was in the temple courts walking in Solomon’s Colonnade.” He was there for it, in the right place to observe it with fellow Jewish people. And when the people pressed Him, “If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly,” He used the moment to declare: “I and the Father are one” (10:24, 30).

As followers of Jesus, we know no light shines brighter than the hope we have in our Messiah, the “light of the world” (John 8:12). On the Hanukkah menorah, the shamash, Hebrew for “servant,” is the candle set apart to light all the others. Jesus came the same way: as a servant, bringing His light to our world.

Hanukkah is a natural time to talk with Jewish friends and family about light, faith, and the hope of Messiah. These questions can help you start, whether you’re lighting candles together or sharing a plate of latkes.

God’s faithfulness

1. Hanukkah remembers a time when it looked like God’s people might be wiped out, but they survived. Do you think God was watching over us/them? Do you think He watches over us/them now? (Use “us” if you’re Jewish, “them” if you’re not.)
2. Do you believe God still does miracles today?
3. The Hanukkah blessing thanks God “who performed miracles for our ancestors in those days, at this season.” When you hear those words, what goes through your mind?

History and the Messiah

4. The Temple rededicated at Hanukkah is the same Temple where Jesus would walk and teach about 200 years later. Have you ever thought about how Hanukkah and Jesus’ life connect?
5. After the Maccabees, many Jewish people were longing for God to send a deliverer. What do you think they were hoping the Messiah would be like?
6. The Maccabees risked everything to stay faithful to God. Who do you think is the most important Jewish figure in history, and where would you put Jesus?
7. The prophet Daniel wrote that God “controls the course of world events; he removes kings and sets up other kings” (Daniel 2:21, NLT). The Hanukkah story is about a king who thought he was in control. Who do you think is really in charge of history?

The servant and the light

8. The shamash is the servant candle: it’s set apart, and it gives its light to all the others. Many people expected the Messiah to come as a conquering king. What do you think it would mean if He came as a servant instead?
9. Jesus was in the Temple just weeks before the Feast of Dedication and called Himself “the light of the world.” What do you think He meant?

Around the Christmas Tree

At Christmas, Jesus is already part of the conversation, whether people notice it or not. Even in the busiest, most commercial season of the year, His story is everywhere: in the carols, the nativity scenes, the candlelight services. People who rarely think about God celebrate this holiday. The lights, the music, and the gathering all point back to the miraculous birth in Bethlehem. These questions invite friends and family to look past the tinsel to the One the season is about.

God came near

1. Christmas celebrates the belief that God became a human being. If that’s true, why do you think He would do it?
2. Why do you think God would come as a baby born in a stable instead of as a powerful king?
3. Jesus is called Immanuel, which means “God with us.” Do you feel God is close to you, or far away?

Longing and peace

4. Christmas carols sing about “peace on earth.” Why do you think real peace is so hard to find, in the world and in our own hearts?
5. The Middle East is in the news almost every day for war and conflict. Yet the One the Bible calls the “Prince of Peace” was born right there. What do you make of that?
6. The Jewish people waited centuries for the Messiah. Do you think the world is still waiting for something?

The gift

7. What do you think it would mean for God to give you a gift?
8. Why do you think so many people celebrate Jesus’ “birthday” without thinking much about who He is?
9. Even people who don’t believe in God often say Christmas feels different, more hopeful and more peaceful. Why do you think that is? Could it have something to do with whose “birthday” is observed?

The Christmas story

10. Have you ever read the Christmas narrative for yourself, in the Bible? What do you think of it?
11. The Jewish prophet Isaiah said God would give a sign: a virgin would conceive and give birth to a son called Immanuel, “God with us” (Isaiah 7:14). The Gospels say this happened with Jesus. Do you think that’s possible? What would it mean if it were true?
12. The prophet Micah wrote that a ruler of Israel would come from the small town of Bethlehem, centuries before Jesus was born there. Do you think that’s just a coincidence?
13. The prophets said the Messiah would come from King David’s family line, and the Gospels trace Jesus’ family back to David. Why do you think that mattered so much?
14. Centuries before Jesus was born, the Hebrew prophets described the Messiah who would come. There are hundreds of prophecies. If one person fulfilled them, against all odds, what would that tell you about him?
15. The prophet Isaiah wrote, “For a child is born to us… The government will rest on his shoulders” (Isaiah 9:6, NLT). What do you think it would look like for Jesus to be in charge?
16. Most historians, including non-Christian ones, agree that Jesus was a real person. What do you make of Him?

Want More Questions for the Rest of the Year?

Request our free conversation guides here: 25 Spiritual Conversation Starters & Movers and Real Questions: Conversation Starters for a New Generation, written with teens, college students, and young adults in mind. If you have kids or grandkids coming home for the holidays, it’s a great place to start. 

Tips for the Table

• Listen more than you talk. Ask a follow-up question before sharing your own answer.
• Answer your own questions. Be ready to share briefly what you’re thankful for and what Jesus means to you.
• Don’t force it. If someone isn’t ready, keep loving them. One honest conversation can plant a seed.
• Don’t take the bait. When politics or the state of the world comes up, ask what’s underneath it. Where do they think hope comes from?
• Don’t debate. With friends who don’t believe in God, ask about their story, listen well, and let your own story of faith do the talking.
• Follow up. Send a note or text after the holidays. A question asked in November can lead to a deeper talk in January.

Ask the Lord to grant you “divine appointments,” to guide your conversations, and to open doors for the gospel this season. Make yourself available to Him this holiday season.